Favorites

As I was washing dishes earlier, I stopped after washing the first three dishes and "ooo-ahh"ed for a second. My three favorite colors!!

Purple -  My birthstone, a small bit of my identity. Such a smooth and passive color, color of royalty (not that I'm royal), and a color of spring.

Bright blue / turquoise -   The color of the ocean, vibrant & bold, tropical, a color that fits warms summer weather.

Green -  The color of life and a color full of life. The color of my eyes and tree canopies in the months of March through October. Again, another color of summer and warmth.

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Plus, dishes are a favorite of mine as well!

Heavy

For anyone that truly knows me knows that I am not found showing too much emotion, especially the one type that involves a salty liquid substance. But every time I pull up John and Cristin's blog, there is no other option but to shed some tears. What a heavy burden! I cannot even attempt to imagine what they are going through, what they are feeling.

I realize that this blog does not have a bunch of followers; but those of you who do read this, how about doing me a favor? Pray. Pray. Pray... pray for these guys, for the family and extended family, and especially for little Ruby Jean. And keep up with their journey:  http://rarerubyjean.blogspot.com/

It always makes a big difference for me to actually see who I am praying for... makes it more real, if you will. The Harrells. Please pray.

Morning of a Mid

I typically don't have the opportunity to be around my place the night before working a mid-shift, but that's only because I am usually somewhere else and choose to drive back the morning of my first mid-shift then nap a little before going into work. This time was different. I actually had plans to go to Mobile, but they fell through days before going.

It was a perfect morning for just hanging out around the apartment. It was overcast and dreary. I had plans to get up and run, but those fell through as well. I thought, "This time, I'm just going to get some things done, cook, and read a little then go back to bed." And that's pretty much what I did.

I work up at 7am to watch "Good Morning America," but that show has turned out to be more entertainment than news. So I flipped through the channels and stopped on ESPN news for background noise [that's what Fred would have on in the background at the Grove and at his home whenever I would be there in the mornings. :)]. I folded clothes, put them up, washed dishes, cooked spaghetti, took a nice long bath, and sat down to read 1 Corinthians before going back to sleep... all of that with being done with two candles lit to give the apartment a cozy glow on that dreary day.

Overcast (View from sitting on the couch - First Baptist of Picayune)

 Hillsong United - Aftermath playing in the background with a candle lit

 Candle #2 in the Kitchen

 Cozy glow

 Liko checking me out while cooking

 Nalu, a little more timid but he was interested as well

 Cooking

Hmmm. I am growing not very found of mids, but if they mean mornings like this one... I might reconsider.

Interpretation?

A friend texted me earlier today while I was sleeping, as did my mom.

When I woke up, I was still feeling groggy. (For some reason, this change up from days to nights let me feeing nauseated almost all night last night, and I slept from 7am-4:17pm... I generally don't do that the first day after a mid-shift.) I was in the shower when my brain went into "Recap" mode. I remembered texting my mom, and I thought I had texted someone else, but I could not remember who in the world it was. (... really thought I might have been dreaming.) So I checked my messages and saw that I did in fact text a friend this morning after receiving a text. Just for kicks, I checked my sent messages and found...........

"...Partially. Wmrking night, so I donx'j to bt. Sue?"

Hahahahahahaaaa!! I honestly have no clue what the last part was supposed to be! Man, there was a hearty laugh after discovering this! I must admit, this is quite awesome.

Moral of the story: DO NOT text when you are not fully aware of your surroundings.

(kerrrrrrsh) Over & Out.

Title-less

I have no clue what to title this blog. How do you sum up a family members circumstance and feelings in a few little words? Please read. The picture that you see below of John and Cristin Harrell, this is Cristin's blog. Get ready to grab a tissue... box.

I must stay that I am absolutely... in awe?... of her hope and peace and trust in the God that loves us so in the midst of this portion of their life. Please read and pray for them. And what a mighty, loving God that we serve!!

http://harrellclan.blogspot.com/2011/09/where-to-begin.html

All our troubles And all our tears. God our hope. He has overcome.

                                                            All our failure And all our fear. God our love. He has overcome.

 All our heartache And all our pain. God our healer. He has overcome.

All our burdens And all our shame. God our freedom. He has overcome.

Putty

Do you remember that stuff? That mushy, colorful, rubber-like material that you can pull and stretch and throw/bounce all over the place? We never had that much experience with putty growing up, mainly because it wasn't a necessity and that we would get it so dirty so fast (think hair and dirt eternally embedded within that gooey stuff). Putty... that weird substance that you could deform, even separate, but put it back together into a nice little ball.

The only thing I could think about yesterday afternoon was that my brain felt like putty, more like "Pah-uht-tee."

Yesterday's day shift seemed like it would be an easy one when I first walked in the doors and get all settled in my little corner computer. No services were scheduled for that day. The office was going to be super quiet with only four of us there (and with one of those guys not coming in until 10am and another leaving at noon). It seemed like all I had to do was my boatload of QC (quality control of the buoy data) and the other random tasks of the day.

I always have to pre-brief the briefer (.... makes no sense) in the morning, and this morning was a little different due to the fact that I was pre-briefing two people that typically do not brief. So that was a little more extensive that normal, in the fact that I had to go into details about the number so the person could actually understand that I was talking about. Then I had the second wave of briefers come in, the Ops51 guys aka the forecast slide guys. And that guy wanted me to look into a power system problem so that he could explain something to me. It wasn't necessary for me since I generally don't have to worry about that kind of stuff, but he was nice for doing that. Basically, my 7am-8am hour flew by with non-stop people and questions... which should have been the indicator that this was the way the rest of the day would go.

After the brief, Russell, fellow coworker, helped me with a few things, and he likes to story tell. Then I received a call about a last minute operation that might go down in Alaska in about five hours, so I had to set things up for the service visit. Russell helped, ended up confusing me, and later that day we (John and I) figured out that we had skipped an important step in the database. The John, another fellow coworker, called me over to his desk to explain problems (again, buoy power system problems). He makes me stand behind him as he explains his train of thought when problem-solving. I so appreciate it, because his goal is to teach me. But yesterday, I must have spent about 2 hours total doing this. Then the other man in the office, Tracy, loves to talk. He didn't have much on his plate to do, so he struck up conversation with me around 4:15pm that lasted an hour. And there were plenty of the government guys that came in, sat down, wanted me to change things, wanted to pass along information, wanted to question how things were going, and etc.

I literally had very few instances where I was totally focused on ONE thing for more than 15-30 minutes. Now seems like a lot of time to be focused on something but be reminded that I am working a 12 hour shift!

Again, "Pah-uht-tee!" My brain had been stretched so many ways yesterday that I just wanted to go back to the apartment and let it all mush back together. My eyes also did a good job of showing how the day went, or so I noticed when I looked in the rear-view mirror of the car before pulling out of the NDBC parking lot. Praise the Lord for two days off!!! But then I flip back to nights (aka vampire shifts and/or anti-social shifts) starting Monday night. :(

Unspokens

It has been a "down" past 2-3 days. There are things happening with loved ones that... are hard, that suck, that need praying about. I will not mention what exactly these things are (hence, "unspoken"), but do pray for them...

First Unspoken is for these guys: John (my cousin) and Cristin. 

Things are not easy for these guys at the moment (and that's an understatement).

Just pray for strength, courage, perseverance, and an overwhelming peace for them and their family. 

The next one is this guy, Frederick Richard Schmidt. 

Pray for God's wisdom, for his eyes and ears to be opened up and God's voice to be heard, for His will to revealed to him, and for the courage to step out in faith (which ever direction it might be) to do accordingly.

It sucks to know that loved ones are going through tough stuff. But praise the Lord that there is a God that is in complete control of the madness of our lives, a God that knows the outcome of every situation, a God that loves us and only wants the best for us, a God that will never leave our side, a God that guide and direct if we are willing to search and listen, and a God that will be glorified and bring hope to every trying time.

This song is totally fitting: "Take Heart"

"Afterlife"

Oh boy! Another released!

Prayer Journaling

Back in early winter of 2003, the worst time of my life thus far, Jessica gave me a gift one night... a journal. I wish I had it with me right now so I can quote her note. But without it, I this my paraphrasing will not do it justice. She gave me the journal, a pretty-sparkly-purple one, so that I can use it as a means of prayer. And boy,  did it help!

Ever since then, I have had a journal that has been designated to prayer... it's pretty much a book(s) of letters to God. It is where I can pour of my heart in times of joy or (more than likely) times of despair, when I'm emotional overwhelmed, confused, heart broken, upset, wanting, lacking, down in the dumps. It's a great way to tell God everything that He already knows without the interruption of pesky thoughts and sounds.

I do not journal as often as I should... it tends to be a month plus in between writings, but I'm now on my third journal. Since I had the day in Mobile to myself yesterday, I decided to spend some time writing. So I went to Target after a nice, cool lunch with Ashley at Panera Bread, and picked up this one...

Since I decided to bum another day away in Mobile (... gorgeous, fall-like cool, breezy and sunny day!) and the fact that Fred would not be back at his apartment until nearly 6 o'clock, I took the journal with a pen in hand and sat outside on his balcony and journaled as I occasionally looked across the street at the runners/walkers at the park.

But the main lament, yet once again, is why... why am I not near Fred. Realizing that I am not 400 miles away from him which means that I am "close," what I really mean is why am I not in the same city? How come God has me here in Picayune, the place of isolation? As I was whine-whining writing yesterday, I did realize just how blessed that I am to be (a) close to home and (b) employed. But the stupid human nature flowing through my veins yells, "But why not all of that near Frederick? Near Ashley? Near Dauphin Way or Airport Blvd Baptist? Near campus where I could get my GIS certificate? Near the good beaches? Near all of those little places that are beloved?"

I want to make things happen. I know that I could ask a person or two about a job, and there might even be a chance of becoming employed in Mobile. But that would mean a pay cut, more than likely... which I am not opposed to if it is where and what I am supposed to be doing or if that is the means of being with Fred. But just two weeks ago, Frederick told me, "Don't be afraid to get a job in Mobile, Jaclyn. But wouldn't it be funny if you moved back here, and I move to Picayune/Slidell? ... because I'm going to Johnny (my Skylla boss) for my next job." ???!!! It was at this point that I wanted to scream and throw my hands in the air and yell, "Really? Now what?" So I feel that I need to just sit tight.

Besides the above, this nagging, heart-eating feeling to be in Mobile has subsided in the recent weeks. I feel that God is not done with me here in Picayune or at the National Data Buoy Center. There are too many people in the office that I work in that do not know or have not experienced the love of Christ. Arrogant men, distraught co-workers that are baffled by recent actions by their companies and just don't know how things will get better. (HELLO! The world will continue to grow dimmer and dimmer until Jesus returns, but the only *ONLY* way to get through this crappy, pot-hole, unpredictable life with undeniable hope is by the Savior of the world.)) See, they don't know that. They don't get it. They put their lives and purpose into their accomplishments, "good catches" while doing quality controlling or setting up a new weather station or blah-blah-blah or home-made beer tastings (... Matt). So I have been at peace about staying here for a while longer, until God moves me elsewhere.

But why? What a stupid question to ask after I basically answered it myself a moment ago... Why?

Even the longing for a church to be involved in has been bringing me down. I am feeling that tugging to be a committed member of a church... but my people-seeing lifestyle prohibits that from Picayune. My shift work does not help as well. I can't do Wednesday nights because I'm either working or need to be in bed. I can't be involved with other during-the-week activities because of shifts and the way my schedule rotates every 6-10 weeks. I have been to Dauphin Way Baptist three Sundays in a row!! Three!! That is the most consistent that I have been with one single church since.... last October! Wow! And the pastor made a statement last Sunday, "During the invitation, the first word of the verse, won't you come down and make Jesus your personal savior? Won't you join this church family if you don't have one? I want you to be a committed church member this next church year (OUCH! And STING!)." I left grumpy and emotional... because this one struck the chord that's been strung over the past few weeks. I am even contemplating going to Dauphin Way every Sunday that I am not going home to DeKalb... I can be committed. But the only problem with that is I cannot be involved with weekly studies and Wednesday nights do the bloomin fact that I do not live close.

"So what to do? What do to, Lord? Where to go and what to do and why not this or that? Do I stay or do I   go now? Where do YOU want me? Why are things not happening as fast as I would like?"  ...overwhelming questions that have been growing more and more sore.

I foresee much more prayer journaling in the future.... I might just entitle this journal, "As Jaclyn's Drama World Turns."

The Crab Shack -- Next Door

Background Information:  When I first moved into the Norwood Apartment, the landlord lady told me that the neighbors will bug the mess out of me if I don't stop them and to tell her of any smoke I smell in the apartment... since there were previous problem with them smoking and it coming through the ventilation system.

More Background Information:  I would open up the extra-room door occasionally and contemplate whether I was smelling cigarette smoke or just a "new" smell. But about 2+ months ago, I did smell smoke in the bathroom for sure. I let it slide... or at least didn't act on it because it was not that bad/strong. I would occasionally smell it after that point. Then I saw the neighbor lady one day with a cigarette in hand just inside the door. And to confirm things further, Ariel and I (Ariel being my witness) were coaxed in the door about three weeks ago to see how Tommy, next door neighbor-guy, was doing after a leg amputation (that's another story in and of itself!) And Mrs. Shirley was smoking, and we both walked out of the their door smelling like it. Blah.

So I walked back into the apartment two weeks ago Wednesday after a long day at work, tired, and not wanting to put up with crap. As I proceeded in the door, the smell of smoke was strong, and I became infuriated. I have never smelled it in the living room before.... and I could smell it in the bathroom and kitchen faintly as well. "Nope," I thought to myself, "I'm not putting up with this anymore." So I marched myself next door to visit and spill guts.

Not to mention that Mrs. Shirley had been stepping outside to fill me in on the latest Tommy-happenings for the prior 2-3 weeks, she happily ushered me in the door. We talked for nearly 10 minutes, and I got to see Tommy and how he was doing. And what do you know, he actually gave the green light for me to politely (POLITELY...) ask her not to smoke inside. "Are we bothering you in any way?" he asked. "Yes, actually. That's one reason why I came over. I know that you smoke, but can you step outside to smoke. I have been smelling it in the apartment. I don't smoke for many reasons, and I really don't want to smell smoke." Her reply, "Well I haven't been smoking in the bathroom." "Well, it is somehow coming through the vents, and I have been smelling it for quite sometime now. I didn't want to go to the landlords first. I wanted to personally resolve this with you guys first, since we're 'friends.'" "I can do that... I can step outside." There were no hard feelings present, and I was doing them a huge favor by not telling the landlords. (Fact: They are terrified of them.)

I have noticed over the past few days that there has been no effort to bombard me when I walk into/out of the apartment. But the real kicker was yesterday morning. I went for a run early and decided to sweep and wash my car outside since I was only nasty. While sweeping, Mrs. Shirley drove up. I wanted to be nice, so I said, "Good morning, Mrs. Shirley." She did this head-bob thing and kept walking inside. Refusing to be defeated by her crabby attitude, "How are you this morning." She literally grumbled like a grizzly bear without even looking my way, "Fiiine." I just stared and watched her go inside and proceeded with the washing of my car.

Seriously? An 80 year old lady is pouting over me asking her to step outside to smoke when I am inadvertently dealing with the left-overs of her cancer sticks? Harsh.... a little bit. But people have absolutely no consideration of those around them now-a-days (now I sound like I'm 80). I just don't get it. But if you're feeling the need for crabs, there is one next door.

In My Dreams

Once again, I listened to Switchfoot basically the entire night at work. Yes, I realize this is nearing a month that I have been on a Switchfoot kick. The last time this happened was when Sanctus Real came out with their "Face of Love" album. I listened to it in the car for the majority of that Spring 2007 semester, non-stop mind you.

But with all of the music and interviews and other Switchfoot stuff that I've pulled up on facebook recently, I even dreamed about them last night (um, I mean day... since I'm sleeping during the day). Good dreams...

I dreamed that I was in a music shop working and/or hanging out there. I was watching people come in and go out, and this guy with a few other guys walked in. I listened to him converse with the store manager as I was sitting off to the side of the store. The guy came in closer proximity to me to sit and talk to the manager. Since the manager was busy, the guy struck up conversation with me. We talked for a some quite some time, and he was making me laugh. Then he told me about his journal, how he was wanting it published (why he was there), and offered to give it to me to read to see what I think. It was the drummer of the band, and I slowly realized that some of the other guys were there too!

Then I am not quite sure if it was a dream still associated with the prior one, but I was in another store. Tim Foreman, the younger of the brothers and the bass guitarist, somehow struck up conversation with me. We talked, and I could tell that there was an attraction present. I knew who he was, but I knew that he was a good bit older than me.... but he was the only single one of the group. (not quite sure if that's reality or not... I'm going to go with "no") Other people were shopping, and we somehow managed to get separated. It was at this point that he began looking for me. I wasn't sure about the situation (again, he was part of Switchfoot but way older), so I was able to leave the store. Tim, being depressed, kept looking, and his band-buddies were helping as well. When all hope was dwindling, he saw me in the distance. I then remember walking around with band in a warehouse-type place, and they were all talking to me to get to know me better.

Foreman was born in 1978 and is married with a kid... or so I just looked up. He is a surfer from San Diego with long, shaggy hair and a member of band. It was nice to experience that, even though it was only a dream. Haha!