Changes: Likes and Dislikes

I cannot stand change sometimes. (I know what you're thinking... "Oh, boy. Here she goes again! Get over it already, Jaclyn.) But sometimes change changes things for the better... and I wouldn't want things to change haha.

• Daddy's Morning Goodbye's.   Every morning while he was still at home, Daddy would come into our room and kiss Jan and I good morning before he left. He would tell us that he loves us and have a good day, then leave. Sad that things aren't that way anymore. Sad how he only sees glimpses of me when I go home... I hate that change.
• Expressing My Thoughts About a Worship Leader with Fred.   There was one BCM music leader that would just put (.... ahem, in my judgemental opinion) way too much passion, way too many sighs and cries and tears into his after-the-worship prayers. I'm not saying that it was not heartfelt or genuine, but it erked me. Haha... heathen, I am! But Fred would crack up whenever I immitated him. Good times. [I just heard "How He Loves," and it reminded me of this guy.]
• "Bedtime" At Ariel's Place.   I would get ready for bed. Ariel would get ready for bed... during the summer of 2010. But we would somehow manage to talk about things for like an hour or more. I would be sitting on my bed, and she would be standing there talking... sometimes she would just sit down on the floor in the hallway to talk. Haha! Good times. Hate that those times have changed.
• Dynamics Study Groups at the Library.   I didn't use the library much... just wasn't inviting enough for me. But there were times when a group of us would meet together at night to tackle Dynamics 1 and 2 information for a dreaded test. Aka it was time to semi-study, try to work through a few problems, then laugh and goof off. The group: Ariel, Walt, Brian, Fred, myself, Corey (CB), CJ, Charles... I'm sure I'm forgetting one or two. I took Brian back to his dorm one night after the study because he had long boarded there and didn't want to long board back. Haha. Super smart but lazy Brian. I miss those times.
• Familiar, Comforting Sounds.  I used to love waking up early in the morning by the sound of my dad adding wood to the fire in the living room. I could see the light from the flames flicker down the hall. It was just enough to wake me up before I rolled over in the bed and fell back asleep. I also liked hearing the sound of my mom drying her hair in the bathroom and hearing her turn on the little heater at the end of the hallway by our room... again, early in the morning.
• Slow, Boring Nights in the Spring and Summer.   Jan and I would become bored and find things to do. Whether it would be swinging on the porch swing just talking, or throwing a ball over the roof to her on the other side of the house, or shooting a basketball, riding a bike around the yard, or simply sitting on the porch steps listening to the frogs and crickets, petting the dog, and watching the sun go down. Such sweet times and memories.
• Slow Afternoons/Nights.   I used to love waiting on Fred to call me and pick me up to bring me to his place. We didn't have to do much of anything, and I was still content. We would usually watch a movie, catch up on LOST, eat dinner that Fred made, run together, take turns cooling off and taking showers, then watch him play Mass Effect 2 or play Madden 2010 football with him, or just simply chill beside each other. Those days... those days I miss. Close proximity to that guy, everything at our finger tips. I hate that change, but yet... I wouldn't change the fact that he's in my life now.
• Friends.   Real, genuine friends. Dear people that I love and miss. I hate that fact that I don't see them everyday or quite as often as I would like... but I would not go back to "before I met them." Friends, you know who you are.  :)
• Days of Puking and Worry.   I used to worry so much I would literally get sick to my stomach on the way to school on days of basketball games and pep-rallies and big tests. I really didn't want to captain of the JV cheerleading squad, but I didn't want to step down from the challenge (and God had his molding-reasonings for the position too). Oh, those mornings... I felt bad for everyone else in the car! Mama, Jan, and Jessica. I won't go into anymore detail. But those days, I don't miss. I finally realized (years and years later) that God is in control and that He will be with me the entire time... regardless if I royally screwed up or executed perfectly. Once I grasped that concept, the pukes went away. There are still days and events that I feel sick to my stomach over things, but I never let it get to the point that I physically get sick. Overcoming fear, worries, the what-ifs... it's my biggest struggle and an on-going process. That change... I love. I don't want to go back to my former days.