This Past Week

This past week has been one that put me into the beginnings of a funk. It has been more up than down, which happens sometimes.

I got a call from Frederick last Saturday night, which was super nice. He actually had time to ask about me and sit and listen to me, but I really didn't have much to share. I listened to his stories about how his past week was up and down. We were able to talk for almost 40 minutes, and he made it a priority to set aside time (time that he could have been proactively prepping for the next week) to talk to me. :)

Sunday was Sunday. Monday was Monday and was the day that I ticked my mom off. She was still distant and peeved into Tuesday, when I drove back to Picayune with Jan. Jan and I were both tired Tuesday night, so we called it a night around 9pm (which is honestly later that I should have stayed up since I had to be in the office at 5:45am the next morning).

I was dreading going back to work on Wednesday for some reason. The month prior, I felt like I never left the office but did enjoy going back to work, being in a familiar environment. But after being off for a week and only being scheduled to work one day, I was like, "Yeah, I don't want to go back!" The day started off fine, and I was a little slow and unsure of myself after being away for so long. The real kicker came when I opened up an email from a friend that wanted to fill me in on a mutual friend, if you will, of ours. As I poured over the words, my heart began to grow more and more angry at what I read. I steamed over it for the majority of the morning before realizing that I really need to give this to the Lord... and honestly, I don't think I ever really did. Two-faced people and un-informed people that make judgements about you behind your back when they really don't know the situation absolutely irks me to no end. And the people calls themselves a Christian. Not that I am a saint, because I know that I am far from it, I wanted so badly to at least email this person and make them aware that Christ would not be pleased with their most recent actions and conundrums. But praise the Lord(!) for the strength and wisdom to not act on my fiery emotions.

Wednesday continued to be a busy day, as a prior post of mine states. A co-worker came into the office super early and showed us the engagement ring that he just bought for his girlfriend. :) That led to a semi-heated discussion, driven by Bob, about how it is not the smartest thing to go through the engagement process and blow money on a ring when it will put a burden on the couple right off of the bat. I attempted to debate him, but you can never disprove Bob. (He's agnostic. If I ever were to debate that intelligent man about God and His Son, your prayer is greatly needed... and I feel this day is coming. There is NO debating this man.) We then had a meeting. I took a co-worker home that lives in Picayune. I rushed back to rescue Jan from boredom. And I stayed up way, way too late when I was already tired.

Thursday, Jan and I did not wake up when we planned to (two hours late because I accidentally cut my alarm off), and we drove straight to DeKalb to clean the church for my mom, since she had to run to Meridian for doctors appointments. We got back to the house around 3pm, finished wrapping our presents,and I read most of the night and went to bed early. With very tentative plans to go to Montgomery today, I hoped to hear my phone go off from Frederick.... nothing.

Yesterday, I planned to work on something with Jessica, but she called me the night prior to say she was sick. Plans = not happening. So I made an appointment with Holli to get a haircut and see my aunt and Baby Blaine. My dad called early that morning about going shopping today with me and my little sister. But when I told him that I might still be going to Montgomery, he fussed at the stupidity of me driving hours and hours to see him for.... a few hours and called plans off. Lovely. I ended up staying at Holli's for most of the day, came home to the fiasco last night, went next door to see my grandparents, spent way longer over there than I planned and was almost guilted into staying for longer, and spent the rest of the night hoping to hear something from Frederick.... nothing again. It took me a while to go to bed because I was heating up from not even hearing a peep from him about my coming. But that's fine. I was honestly hoping not to have to go anyway.
On top of things, my phone is not charging. It is basically dead, so I am in the process of trying to figure out what do to about it. I will more than likely make a trip to Meridian to buy a charger that might not even work, since I think it is a phone problem, not my charger. Or should I upgrade and wait for the phone to come in.... but that means no phone Sunday-Monday with a trip back to Picayune in store tomorrow afternoon? Or should I break down and get a smartphone? I will more than likely make a trip to Meridian to buy a charger that might not even work, since I think it is a phone problem, not my charger. Or should I upgrade and wait for the phone to come in.... but that means no phone Sunday-Monday with a trip back to Picayune in store tomorrow afternoon? Or should I break down and get a smartphone and fork out a boatload of money. Funny thing is that I said that I would (a) get one at the first of the year  or (b) get one when my phone dies. Both are occurring as we speak. Blah! Money blows... because it is so easy to blow.

But I think I know what the root of my problem really is. I think I know why all of these little things are driving me to the edge of being a true Tisdale. I am not reading the Bible, not praying like I should be, not spending time with my Savior/Creator like I need to have been this week. And not being as close as I should be, not being content with Him and Him alone, all of these insignificant and petty things are like a decent sized mountain that I am forcing myself to climb... when all they really should be is a pebble that I step on and do not even notice that I have. Sucky, huh? Very sucky. Someone needs to get a grip!