(Ahem...)

It's warm outside. It's been warm outside for the past week or so... warm, humid, nasty, warm. I left work today with full intentions of running. All I could think about on the way back to Picayune was how much I wanted a whopper or a Papa John's pizza and/or cheese sticks, but I did not cave in. I walked into the apartment and thought, "I'll just put a few chips in my stomach to curve this intense hunger and then go for a run." As I was washing my face, I noticed that my right hand was really shaky. "Dude, am I that hungry?" So... I decided to eat a few more chips...... And that lead to me eating the rest of the bag. "Why? Oh dear goodness, why?"

You see, this entire week I have been at a loss for motivation. I have none. I have enough to get up in the morning (at the last possible minute) and get to work on time, to sit all day and destroy data-dots, then walk to my car, drive home, and... do nothing of significance. I thought I was tired, so I went to bed at 2030 last night and stayed in the bed until 0532 this morning. But I feel the same today, motivation-less.

Despite the fact that I had an amazing time with Frederick in Montgomery this past weekend, it set me up for a low. Not like a depressing-low, but I'm at a low in terms of all I want is to be in his vicinity. Running to a store and spending money is something that I do not only need not to do, but it's doesn't fit my fancy. Physically running... someone needs to kick my tail into gear. I did clean up quite a bit Monday night, but entropy always wins. I sit down to read my Bible, and my thoughts are elsewhere. And TV has not interested me all week. In fact, I have been turning it off after the evening news. Oh, and I'm going home this weekend. Honestly, I am not excited. I feel it is my duty to visit home because it's been about a month since I was last there. I really don't feel like trying to see everyone and getting my taxes done in 1.5 days. Blah. Geez, I'm pathetic these days.

Huh, I guess I still have time to run before the rain comes into town. With a 1/3 full stomach, this might be interesting. Maybe this forcing-myself thing will help motivate me to get up and do other things. Oh, well. We shall see.